Rob presents...a 2008 presidential candidate quiz

Can you name all of the candidates still in the running for President of the United States of America? (Hint: There's over 50. Remember there are parties like "The Light Party," "American Independent," "Peace and Freedom," and of course the "United Fascist Union.") Visit here for the complete list.
Make sure to click the link for "All Presidential Candidates" at the very bottom of the page.

Here's one name you might remember, Alan Keyes. How many times is this guy going to run before he realizes NO ONE is going to vote for him? He gets a gold star for effort though.

Rob presents...politicians listen to Rob!

As you most certainly may have read in a previous post, I urged candidates Giuliani and Edwards to drop out of the presidential race. And they did! Behold the power that is my blog! (And I suppose the power of Floridian voters.) Finally we can stop hearing about these people trailing in third thinking that they could be the next come-back-kid. Wasn't gonna happen. Especially if you refused to visit half the states that were voting. Giuliani that's aimed at you buddy!

So the quest for new candidates moves on. Does anyone else think it's stupid that we have primaries at all? Why don't we just have one big election with everyone that wants to run, like they did for governor of California. That would be much more efficient and entertaining. Royal Rumble on The Hill. Good times.

Ron Paul, Mike Huckabee: Come on now. You were behind Giuliani and you think you still have a chance? No.

Rob presents...a no good, horrible, very bad day

Today was a bad day. Not just because it was Hump Day, or because I dropped my ice cream cone, or even because an alien probed my best friend's butt. No, today my beautiful Mac laptop decided to stop working. Over 4 years of loyalty and pure bliss came to a sudden end this morning when I went to boot up, and nothing. I know you all will have lots of suggestions on fixing it or moving on, trust me, I've tried them all. Perhaps someday soon I will be able to resurrect it and my Appletonian dreams will live on, but for now, I mourn.

My friends, don't take your Mac for granted. If you don't have a Mac, go get one and cherish it like you would a young child. A young, super intelligent, never poops himself, file pirating, email checking, editing master of a child.

Oh, and always make backups of your files at least once a month if not once a week. Especially that hard to find porn.

Rob presents...the best fans are soccer fans

Case in point:



You can't get much better than that. I don't even know what team he's rooting for, but I sure as hell want to root for them too. Even if it's just to have a pipe and glasses like those. Even the other blurry fans in the background have crazy outfits. You can't not have fun while around these fans. Go soccer team!

Rob presents...news stations are psychics

"Obama wins South Carolina!"

These were the words that were all over every news station and affiliate at 7:10pm Saturday January 26th 2008. What's wrong with this scenario? Perhaps because at 7:10pm less than a 10th of 1 percent had reported their tallies. At 7:10pm, Obama had an impressive hold on SC with 72% of the votes while Clinton only had 15%. At 7:10pm, only a few hundred votes had been counted, but apparently that's enough for the national media to declare a winner. Granted, he did end up winning, but by 7:35pm, he was down from 72% to 51%. That's a big drop. In the "good old days" the media would have said "We project Obama will win South Carolina." Now they're just getting bold and straight up declaring a winner. I can remember, not so long ago, they did the same thing with a presidential race and ended up getting it wrong! They solidly declared a winner and ended up being WRONG.

Obama didn't help the situation by having his victory speech publicly announced at 7:15pm. Kind of egotistical huh? But, I do concede that he did win, and by a good margin. I guess exit polls are good enough to make all final decisions on. Oh wait, that failed miserably before right?

While on the topic of primaries, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, John Edwards: Please just drop out, there really is no chance of you getting any further and all you're doing is taking away votes from other candidates. Your brothers in politics knew when to give up, (Biden, Thompson, Richardson, Kucinich, etc.), you should too.

Rob presents...getting screwed nicely by AT&T

Recently I've been having problems with my phone service provider, AT&T/BellSouth. We get calls soliciting new services that I neither want nor need. I've asked them a few times to stop calling and have even been hung up on by a supervisor. So I sent an email to their complaint department. (Apparently you can only complain via email now. They claim there is no way to file a complaint over the phone.) I received an email back stating that they were sorry for the inconvenience and that they would be better blah blah blah. They did credit me for 1 free month of service. A whopping $24.91, but hey, it at least shows they care! Or do they? Turns out they credited my account $1.21 short of the monthly payment. Guess what? You can't make payments less than $10 online. Also turns out they don't accept any payments of less than $2.50. So I'm stuck with a $1.21 amount overdue on my last bill. I can just see how it went down:

"This guy complains too much. Here's an awesome way to screw up his day. Let's credit him just short of his full bill and watch him squirm to figure out how to pay the rest. Brilliant!" (Yes, AT&T is run by the paper cut-out guys on the Guinness commercials.)

Lesson learned.